Its a wonderful life.

"Its a wonderful life" is one of those classic movies always shown at Christmas time to make us all feel warm and smug about the human race and all the people we have around us.   I admit to having never watched this particular film until last year when I bought the DVD.  Apart from having an adoration of the persona and acting skills of James Stewart, I really did not see the point of the plot but felt slightly frustrated at the slow pace and direction of the story.  Nevertheless, my point is this.  It is a wonderful life and however it treats you, you are very lucky to be here able to be reading this.

Apart from a wonderful life I have a wonderful friend. I haven't seen him for "too long" but thats ok. I know where he is and what he does.  

I think he also appreciates it might be a wonderful life by what happened to him some years back.

Twas a stag party down west in Penzance, don't know the details other than it was by rail and with return tickets. I was not there as I was upholding the law in London.  Anyway, at the end of the night all those involved boarded the last train to London which luckily was scheduled to stop at Truro. Somewhere between Penzance and Truro our hero, possibly feeling faint from excess alcohol, needed air. 

Having imagined him lowering one of those window things, I fully understand his thought process. "Window open, must climb out".  Long story shortened, he climbed out and pulled himself up onto the roof of this HS 125 speeding through the Cornish countryside.  Apparently, as the train left Camborne or Redruth an eagle eyed signalman spotted him grinning sitting atop.

A call to the British Transport Police was made and a "Train block" was put into place at Truro.

Now, our hero getting a bit bored and probably rather cold, managed to slide back into the corridor just before being met by BTPs finest on the platform.

The police selected him from the rest of the crew by simple deduction. He was the only one with a diesel fume blackened face and swept back hair.  It was brought to his attention had he not decided to desist in his train surf he would have been introduced to the Bucks Head tunnel shortly after leaving Truro. The tunnel has a seven inch clearance!

He pointed out his destination was always Truro so no problem and certainly no offence. It was late at night, the cop wanted to go home................

Quite how he managed to avoid being arrested for whatever, is still niggling me. Maybe a story for another time.  My point is, and maybe I should seek confirmation here, my friend must surely consider this life really is a wonderful life.                         But I digress...........

For Lyn, Tuesday night is yoga night.  For me, Tuesday night is whatever I want night and last Tuesday was Shepherds pie night...simple pleasures!    The pie was pre cooked, frozen and microwaved with microwaved frozen peas and gravy.

Sitting in front of the TV Im tucking into my pie when Im aware of something irritating the back of my throat, not a problem and sorted with a quick cough.

Shovelling in the pie as a steam engine stoker might work, I feel the throat thing again so after a swallow of pie I manage a cough or two but this time nothing feels right. I tried to take a deep breath in order to produce a cough of massive proportions but as I drew in something clicked in my throat stopping the air entering my lungs. That was the most horrible thing I can remember happening to me, unable to draw breath.  

Im not one to panic easily and so sat back down for a review of what was happening.

For 10 or 15 minutes I sat quietly considering my options. Gradually unable to breathe properly I realised I was alone, no phone to call for help.  The human brain is a fantastic organ, capable of self preservation. Mine was searching for a solution to prevent it from dying. It dug deep and found a memory of a course I had attended 25 years ago when I was mentored by a Major of the SAS on a bodyguard course when I was with the Met. Apart from sticking ones hands into gunshot wounds to clamp leaky arteries and slamming biro pens into someones throat to create an airway he mentioned that should one suffer an obstruction to ones airway, without another person to assist with a Heimlich Manoeuvre, one might consider inverting ones self and coughing hard.

Hats off to the Major.  With little breath left, I managed a headstand and coughed up a solitary pea!

 So I really do mean it when I say, Its a wonderful life!