What a con!

I feel gutted. According to page 42 of the June edition of Hippy Monthly, and I quote.  "If you suspend an avocado pip semi submerged into clean fresh water from some spring in the Welsh mountains, bless it daily and chant some odd noise whilst nodding in a knowing sort of acknowledgement of some other hippy in a dim smoke filled room adorned with dirty paisley patterned cloth, then the chances are after 2-3 weeks you will be blessed and rewarded with your very own baby avocado plant shoot thing".

BOLLOCKS!   I waited over 4 weeks without all the hippy props and absolutely nothing happened! Not a shoot or a root, nothing!

Cant even cancel my subscription as Hippy Monthly's office and bank are in the Himalayas somewhere....what a con!